Ask a Manager

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Really Good, Actually, by Monica Heisey. Reeling from the break-up of her marriage, a 20something woman tries to figure out dating after divorce, […]

• the cats of AAM
• all of my 2022 and 2023 book recommendations
• all of my book recommendations from 2015-2021

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […]

• our motivational speaker got drunk and went off the rails
• I think my employee is being maliciously compliant
• need help finding a job? start here

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My neighbor, her nephew, my kid, and her dogs My question has to do with kid work. I recently found myself in an uncomfortable situation with my middle-schooler, Falcon, and I’m wondering if I handled it badly. My neighbor, Jane, asked Falcon to check on […]

• my boss won't approve my time off for a video game competition
• what happens if I get hired at a dog-friendly company when I'm allergic to dogs?
• my company says we're dog-friendly -- but we're not

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I work in a field that has been heavily affected by layoffs in the past year. I have been lucky and managed to maintain work, but many talented people I know have not been so lucky. My question is about whether posting depressing, sad posts on social media, especially LinkedIn, affects your […]

• my brother-in-law shares TMI on LinkedIn
• I feel guilty about getting a job in my competitive field when others are still struggling
• how should I navigate social media connections during a job search?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I manage a small team, including one employee who joined us somewhat recently. This is her first time doing the kind of work that we do, and training from afar isn’t ideal (we work remotely), but she’s learning and progressing well. I give her positive feedback on her work, along with corrections […]

• how should I deal with an anxious and needy coworker?
• I'm constantly anxious that one of my employees will quit
• my needy boss wants me to "adopt" her

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Workplace contests sometimes go off the rails in ways no ever intended. (Luckily for us!) Some examples that have been shared here in the past: •. “We had a hot sauce eating contest at work years ago that ended with the crowd demanding that the contestants stop before they got hurt (and passing the hat […]

• our CEO challenged someone to eat dead bugs
• coworkers crashed my networking party, new hire wants to print everything, and more
• I don't want an intern, I'm dating my boss, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My doctor’s office constantly leaves me on hold — how do I deal with this at work? Do you have any advice on how to handle important personal phone calls with LONG hold times when you’re working in a client-facing position? My doctor’s office has […]

• my coworkers come by my desk to check on emails right after sending them
• my coworker won't stop doing my job, despite our manager's direct orders
• my coworker is blackmailing me not to take time off for my honeymoon

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Remember the letter-writer whose coworkers are engaged but one of them is cheating with the writer’s boss? Here’s the update. Thank you so much for responding to my question. I couldn’t really respond to any of the comments on your post, but I read them and really had a good think about everything you said […]

• my coworkers are engaged but one of them is cheating ... with my boss
• my new coworker seems to be asking us if he should cheat on his wife
• I ran into my new boss in the apartment of my one-night stand

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

In last week’s speed round, a surprising number of questions requested updated info on the cats — in particular, an update to the personality profiles and photos from last year. So here we go. Olive 11 years old, the grande dame of the house. She is very beautiful and requires that you treat her like […]

• the charismatic aura, the glowing tan, and other amazing items seen on resumes
• how much can I pet my cat on video calls?
• the secret goat, the geese vs the CEO, and other stories of animals at work

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I work as a director at a medium-sized nonprofit, reporting directly to the chief development officer (CDO). I have a coordinator (Jane) who reports to me and takes care of most of the administrative work. In June we received a large campaign pledge from a very powerful national foundation. It was a […]

• my employee lies and says other people's work is her own
• I think my employee lied about damage to a company vehicle
• managing an employee who lies, I was the only one carded at a business lunch, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. How do I rebuild a department after an abusive manager? I’ve recently accepted a new position at the director level. I supervise several managers who, in turn, each supervise their own team of employees. Prior to my arrival, one of the managers, Marcy, exhibited some […]

• a colleague is hitting on me and I don't know how to respond
• how do I get our office cleaner to stop talking to me while I'm working?
• how should I have handled an older married colleague's interest in me?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I was reading one of your recent posts where you mentioned you don’t believe in forcing adults to apologize in a professional setting. I am on the same page with you about that, and it made me think of a similar type of experience I had once where I was on the […]

• my manager told a coworker to write an apology letter to a higher-up
• my coworker cried and called me militant
• when should you expect your boss to apologize?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I had a bad interview which made me realize I needed to work on my interviewing skills. The interviewer asked me the classic “Tell me about yourself,” but then noted that she had a copy of my resume in front of her so no need to walk her through every step of […]

• should you lie and say you have an NDA to get out of explaining a gap on your resume?
• can you ask an interviewer to stop talking so much?
• how to answer "why should I hire you?"

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: A coworker, Kate, and I used to work together at another company several years ago. I was visiting with her recently, when she brought up a situation we encountered at the old place. At the old firm, I was a manager and Kate reported to another manager. A bunch of cash payments […]

• my team has been stealing from the company
• a coworker stole my spicy food, got sick, and is blaming me
• my manager stole a family heirloom from me and gave it as a gift to someone else

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker sleeps too deeply when she’s on-call I work in a job (child welfare) that requires overnight and weekend on-call shifts. We get calls almost every night, but usually those are in the evening hours; true middle-of-the-night emergencies are more rare, but always highly urgent. […]

• should I put my politics on display at work?
• my manager said I need more confidence — what does that mean?
• is it rude to read in the car on work trips?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s Labor Day! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything (work-related or not) that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers. * If you submitted […]

• a dispute about customer skills is tearing apart my agrotourism business
• my coworker tickled another coworker, and now there is chaos
• intern signs emails with "stay gold," can I wear black jeans to a job interview, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Then She Found Me, by Elinor Lipman. A quiet teacher find her life changed when her birth mother — a flamboyant and somewhat narcissistic […]

• all of my 2022 and 2023 book recommendations
• all of my 2020 and 2021 book recommendations
• all of my book recommendations from 2015-2019

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […]

• we gave an expensive goodbye gift and the person didn't leave
• new hire keeps kneeling in front of me
• need help finding a job? start here

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. A man at our events makes other attendees uncomfortable I’m on a planning committee for an event involving a fandom generally beloved by mostly women, often mothers and daughters. This event is spread over a few days and involves speakers, tours of book/filming sites, etc. […]

• how to say "stop following me" at an event
• can I tell interviewers my hobby is drinking, going from scruffy to polished at work, and more
• I don't want to be pied in the face for work

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Last week we talked about coworkers cheating on coworkers, coworkers cheating with coworkers, and related drama. Here are 11 of the most bananapants stories you shared. 1. The poorly kept secret At OldJob where I was an intern, there was a couple (Bob and Barbara) who were having an affair. They were in the same […]

• my coworkers are engaged but one of them is cheating ... with my boss
• my coworker had an affair with a colleague's husband, and now is treating her badly at work
• should I tell a colleague people think she's having an affair with a coworker?